Happy New Year 2018!
Holy smokes. Can you believe that number, 2018? I am turning 32 years old in just a few days, and I have lived long enough to say I expected lots from the future. And I am officially living my future, now. The future from Back to the future II past over two years ago already (it was October 2015 just fyi). No flying cars, no self-drying clothes. The fashion prediction certainly wasn’t on point. My personal future is quite different than what I might have tried to predict at, say, 18 years old, as well. So many emotions, thoughts and ideas have been flying through my head in the last few days, that although this blog isn’t currently my priority (I’m so sorry to even say that, alter ego Girl in the Raw), I had to take the time to sit down, journal, reflect, and write.
Have you made New Years resolutions? I’ve never been an active part of that tradition, at least not in a common sense of the term, but I love setting intentions. It’s a big part of our yoga practice and lifestyle, and it’s very effective and healing to set positive intentions on a regular basis. I invite my students to set a simple one before each yoga or meditation class I teach.
Because so many personal and professional events in my life happened to align with the ending of the year 2017, and beginning of 2018, I have felt this switch more than ever before. The new year flew in like a breath of fresh air. And I feel like I’m finally able to gasp for that air, although not fully present in the new era, today on the fifth of January. I feel like I’ve been waiting for the new year to come with such intense anticipation, I’m trying to not put too much hope into it, in order not to disappoint myself. This year, it’s impossible for me to set intentions, without taking a good honest look at the past year and all the experiences, life lessons, people and events it brought into my life.
I ventured into a new business last year. I have been shopping for ideas so to say, for a few months. A few opportunities presented themselves to build a yoga deck, on someone else’s property, here in Costa Rica. Some family members were interested in investing into a new business venture with me and Acyuta. And I have been dreaming about my own yoga studio and center for a while now, kind of always knowing I’m going in that direction. There are tremendous benefits to teaching for other studios, and I have loved the opportunities I’ve been given. I’ve permanently taught yoga, meditation and workshops in over a dozen studios, hotels and centers in three different states and two different countries, and that’s without counting visiting teacher positions. But you never have all the control of your teaching style, and I personally always struggled with wanting to teach and offer more, at times feeling like I’m begging owners to allow me to offer workshops or something special. I’ve also had a big share of competition and business disappointments over the years. I’ve always longed for my own space and a place where I’m in control – and yes, I acknowledge that I’m both a control freak and a dreamer. But when an opportunity presented itself to partner up with a local vegan and vegetarian restaurant, first of it’s kind in our area of Costa Rica, I took it.
I did everything I normally do when making big decisions, from talking to my husband to talking with my astrology advisor. I weighted the pros and cons, and knew that as anything, this was a risk as well. But I was very excited and dove in pretty quickly, after deciding that it was a good option. I invested whatever little money I had, and began working hard.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go exactly as planned. When I think of it, they didn’t go as planned almost at all.
The very long story short, I partnered with someone who seemed like they actually wanted to be an equal partner, until I realized they wanted me to be their bank, caregiver, manager, and everything in between. It was one of those situations you see in movies, like a crazy surprise twist. The twist was that my business partner was a pathological liar, and I lost a lot of time, energy, money and resources based on those lies. Correction, I gave the majority of it freely, under false understanding and pretense. I had no one else to blame at the end, and it made me even more disappointed and angry. How could I have missed it?
It was a life lesson no money can buy in the end, and I do not regret it, but it took me a very long time to get into that position. The person in question literally disappeared days after the truth began revealing itself, and I never got closure or answer to the question why, so it took me a while to close the situation myself. And it wasn’t without it’s challenges, as they did certain things to intentionally sabotage me afterwards, apparently assuming the business would go under without one partner. But I simply renamed, rebranded, and moved on. That was the best choice, and that is how Hari OM came to be.
Hari OM Food and Wellness was the first version of the business, a vegan restaurant with a wellness center offering Ayurvedic and Yoga services. As my partner was meant to be the kitchen head, a few months after their departure I changed locations and decided to dedicate to Yoga and Wellness alone, although I still miss the restaurant and people ask for vegan food all the time, so I expect to come back to it at one point.
What that whole experience has taught me, was that instead of setting concrete intentions that involve specific actions and events, we shouldn’t limit ourselves or the universe as to how we want to receive what we ask for. What does that mean? That means that if you are asking for money, for example, instead of focusing on this particular project or job to make you this specific amount, just invite abundance into your life and let it present itself from whatever source or means the universe wants. And then, taking it a step further, instead of requesting money, think about why you want it. For most of us, it’s more than just buying things. It’s about security, peace of mind, and a feeling of richness of some sort. Best to find the particular sensation or emotion you are looking for. So then, instead of limiting the universe to send you security through money, just visualize feeling secure. Let everything else fall into place. Makes sense?
It’s harder to do that it seems and it requires regular practice. Really, this is a form of positive visualizations.
Instead of resolutions that focus on doing and achieving, I am focusing on the sensations and experiences instead.
In my life, I invite:
- Sense of purpose
- Fun and adventure
- Sense of accomplishment
- Light of knowledge
- New revelations
- Spiritual connection
- Balance of giving and receiving
What are you inviting into your life?